By CC Cox
My husband and I survived my breast cancer surgery in October 2020 together. Many friends and family members celebrated the initial good news that a successful single lumpectomy had shown clear parameters — no apparent additional carcinoma. The surgeon’s team had done a wonderful job risking their own health to save mine during the bizarre 2020 year, while many others were losing their lives to a mysterious, unseen virus. Thank you to them for their bravery.
We continued through the next three years grateful for the gift of each day together. I still continued to have 3-D mammograms due to high density breast tissue that limits the views that a standard mammogram provides. Each year answered our prayers for good health and all clear readings.
Life was like living in a special cocoon of reprieve since five years of clear tests is the standard for being considered cancer free. I faithfully had the girls tested for the cancer monster 2021, 2022, 2023 — then things changed.
Allow me to enhance my story by introducing you to my grandmother, Helen, also known to me as Granny. My Granny had made the mistake of waiting to medically check a lump in her girls which she discovered after hearing about the newly advertised self examination technique in the early fall more than 40 years ago. She decided to delay the relatively new mammogram test on this lump until after the family had celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas and the new year. She did not want to inconvenience anyone.
The price she paid because of her delay stays in my mind and heart today as a huge warning to all young and mature ladies. Get checked early.
Her winter lump surgery was supposed to result in a single breast removal. However, because her cancer was so advanced they were forced to remove both breasts with a radical double mastectomy. To add to this burden, the doctors offered her radiation and chemotherapy therapies to give her a better chance at survival.
Granny elected to fight this monster. She bravely and quietly lost all of her hair, but not her sense of fashion or humor. She elected to be chic with scarves that covered her balding head accenting her modern outfits. Granny also commented that this radical change in her body allowed her to wear clothing that only a thin runway model could wear or have the option to wear her prosthetic insert bras to have a more full figure look. She laughed and said that her flat chest gave her many more options. Often, she would ask, “Shall I be the skinny model, Twiggy, or the voluptuous Raquel Welch today?”
Even with her humorous attitude and bravely following the doctor’s orders for several months of treatments, she found that the science and art of medicine does not always work in the patient’s favor. They called her in to the doctor’s office to tell her the very toughest news of all, that their treatments had not been able to control the fast growth of the cancer monster. They advised her to get her affairs in order. The doctors then calculated she had only six months to live here on this earth.
My Granny was always very independent and was never very good at taking orders or limiting herself in adventures. This is when she taught me the most valuable lessons about life. She said we are all facing a finite time here on earth. Never take that gift of a day for granted. She not only spoke these truths, but set an example of living graciously and appreciatively with a gusto for life.
At this point, Granny decided to take a friend on a 2,000-mile driving trip to study watercolor painting in Vermont. She drove the entire trip. Of course she packed her colorful scarves, too.
After returning from her adventure, her hair started to sprout back in — not straight but wavy and curly. Once again, she laughed and said, “Over the years I paid a fortune at the hairdresser to have permanents done for curls. Then after I have chemotherapy and radiation and lose all my hair, I am rewarded with natural curls. That is a money saver. Isn’t that great?” Her always positive attitude accented with truth and humor may be a key secret to the rest of her story.
Granny passionately painted 72 watercolor paintings during her remaining 3.5 years. She by grace and sheer grit exceeded the six-month doctor’s gloomy life expectancy calculation by three years. Way to go Granny.
Granny left me a legacy of many life lessons, a sense of determination, a sense of style, a challenge to be creative, to make your life interesting and informed. She had a wonderful laugh and genuine joy. I do wish to this day that she would have gone for her mammogram earlier. However, discussing breast cancer was relatively new in America at that time. Traditionally, health was a private topic, not like it is in 2025 where modesty has evaporated. We would have brought her a turkey dinner or Christmas tree to the hospital. Just wish that more media urging to get her girls checked out had been available in the 1980s.
During those extra three years, Granny taught me to always have something else to live for than just trying to stay healthy. She said that you will stay interesting to other people when you are genuinely interested in their lives. It is always best to have something to focus on other than yourself and your health issues. Stay engaged with your mind and use your heart for others. It is there for a reason. She also said when you’re discouraged think about music or nature or sweet memories — but always have a sense of purpose and a good goal ahead of you. Celebrate life often. Remember to send thank-you notes. Today we send only electronic texts. I still have special handwritten notes from her that I treasure.
Now we fast forward to more modern techniques today, with doctor teams that are doing their best with constraints of protocols, fear of litigation and minimally tested latest and greatest medicines and machines.
Since we had been cancer clear for several years, I almost postponed my annual breast 3-D mammogram check of January 2024, New Year’s week to six months later in the summertime. Then in my heart I heard Granny whisper “Do it earlier rather than later.” Results arrived in 24 hours — the monster C had returned.
My husband and I were stunned and knew that cancer requires serious decisions and mortality is often part of the equation especially if you make the wrong choice or fail to get a second opinion. We elected to be proactive and preventative by saying goodbye to the girls with a double mastectomy. The doctor team has been very supportive.
I was offered a Goldilocks option instead of a flat chest surgery that has allowed me to have more of an early teen curve without borrowing fluff from other parts of my body or to have saline inserts that require replacements every 10 years. At the tender age of 70, I thought fewer surgeries on my dance card would be better.
In following my Granny’s zesty example for life, I believed that consideration for my husband as the prime caretaker needed to be included in this lengthy journey of major surgery and other issues to face. The result was to encourage him to have a few hobbies outside of the house, so I could rest. He is now hitting buckets of golf balls, a great stress reliever, taking some college classes, working out at a nearby military base gym, showing the young bucks that there is life after 75, and doing his hunter-gatherer thing at the battlefield of the local grocery stores during tourist season, as he lovingly captures everything on my shopping list.
Me, myself and I are working on interests about many subjects other than the big C in the room. Reading, sketching, writing, some creative dance moves and exploring nature when the cool breezes allow. Deep breathing has been especially helpful to relax and energize.
Most importantly, we followed my oncologist’s advice, “Live your life.” Cancer in any form is a wake-up call about mortality. It should also be a time to analyze this question, “Am I an old dog or can I learn a few new tricks in healthier attitudes, friendships, foods and beverages, faith walks, and what I choose say or do each day?” Healthy lifestyle choices of what we as a couple read, watch, listen or speak do help us to focus on this art of genuine living. We did take this doctor’s advice and managed to celebrate an exceptional time together on a five-week USA Amtrak rail trip at the tender ages of 70 and 79. Believe me that takes energy and a sense of humor. It was so well worth it.
Thank you Granny for nudging me to “Do your test now — don’t delay.” Remember — stay positive, stay informed and always say thank you.
